Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
