she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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