Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so much tequila, so little girl.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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