Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
