i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
