he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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