i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
