I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
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