rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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