Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
