So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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