Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
