yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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