Please, let me fuck your mom
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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