His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
