I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
