i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
