I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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