i just made my gag reflex go away.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
