so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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