O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
