return my video game
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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