can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
