They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
