Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
