i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
