I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
