i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I look excited, but its just a facade.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
