That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
