If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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