he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
NoShamevember. You game?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
