I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
