You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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