So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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