Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
