i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
