I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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