Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
