Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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