We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
