he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
