My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
