we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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