it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
