3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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