It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
