I got chris browned last night
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
