did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
