I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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