How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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