Me. At least after what I've been through.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
