i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
